The United Methodist Church is at a significant crossroads.
Recap: Our bishops are meeting this week to receive the report of the “Commission on a Way Forward.”
That report will present a plan for the denomination regarding marriage of
same-sex couples and ordination of people who are gay. The bishops will then
present something (it may be that plan or it may be something altogether
different) to the special session of the General Conference in February of
2019, to be held in St. Louis, Missouri. The General Conference will then vote
on what the bishops present, which then becomes the official policy of the UMC.
And after that … well, who really knows, tbh?
One thing I am hoping is that the conversation is being
framed truthfully. One of the reasons our denomination has felt “stuck” around
these questions for so long is that many of the people having the conversation
are not working within a truthful framework. Hence, we talk around and around
each other, and no progress is made. Let me elucidate.
Historically this conversation has been framed as one of
polar opposition, with no room for a middle way. Specifically, one was either
obedient to God or disobedient to God. One was either faithful to the Bible or
had rejected the Bible. And when the conversation is framed that way, it is
unproductive, not to mention dishonest.
See, when one group frames the conversation and puts
themselves in the categories of “obedient” and “faithful,” placing the other
group in the categories of “disobedient” and “unfaithful,” it is obvious that
the conversation is going pretty much nowhere. Because of course nobody in the
church wants to be labelled “disobedient” and “unfaithful,” especially in dialogue
with others in the church.
However, this framework is not truthful; it does not reflect
reality. It’s just false.
In the church, those who favor marriage equality as well as
those who favor traditional marriage are doing so from an honest and heartfelt
attempt to be obedient to God and faithful to the Bible. We come out in very
different places, yes. But those differences are to be expected, arising as
they do from very different life experiences in very different settings.
Look, no matter what your personal interpretations may be, you are
making interpretations. In the dishonest framing of the conversation there
exists an unwillingness to admit even that an interpretation is being made. One
often hears, “No, this is not an interpretation. This is what the Bible actually
says!” Such absolute certainty is not now nor has it ever been compatible with
Christian teaching. We all make interpretations, as Christians everywhere always
have.
If (and it’s a big “if”) we can get past the untruthful framing
of the conversation and actually be able to say that someone who sees things
differently than us is not being “disobedient” and “unfaithful,” we may be able
to figure something out here. We may be able to actually craft an official
denominational position that allows for contextual ministry to advance the
mission of the church in healthy and hopeful ways.
Those who are clinging to the “you just can’t” position and
those who are clinging to the “you just have to” position need to come to the
middle on this one, where the rest of us are, where real life happens, where
the mission of the church comes to life. We need to end up with a “you can but
you don’t have to” position as a denomination if we want to stay focused on the
mission, and actually start addressing some of the more pressing challenges
that we as a church face in the 21st century and beyond.
Finally I need to say this – I am not naïve. I understand
that there will be people who will still frame the conversation with the false
dichotomy I’ve described. I guarantee there will be General Conference
delegates who stand up on the floor in St. Louis next February and say things
like, “I’m being faithful to the Bible and obedient to God here – and you are
not!”
But maybe just maybe there will be more of us who are
willing to stand up and say something different, to say something from a
different framework. As a delegate, if given the opportunity, I will do my best
to do so. That’s one of the ways I am trying to be obedient to God and faithful
to the Bible, actually.
The conversation matters, and that includes how the
conversation is framed to begin with. May we frame our conversations truthfully, graciously,
respectfully, and most importantly, may we frame them with love.
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