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How's this for a definition of pastoral care?
"What I think doesn't matter, doesn't mean a thing, to the person actually doing the grieving. What we as friends of the grieving must do is help the person find that thing that helps them."
About dealing with grief, he writes:
"We have two choices when faced with grief. Deny it and lose ourselves in the undertow too powerful for anyone to fight alone. Or face it, embrace it, sit in the dark and cry for three hours -and I mean the gasping for breath, snot running down the face kind of crying, the crying that makes you forget where you are or what you did - and become stronger, a more complete person."
And his tag line is wonderful:
"Behind every cloud there IS silver lining, but there's still one big badass storm on the way."
Thanks, B. Good stuff.