I suppose I should write something about Spongebob. Everyone else is. Sigh.
I guess it started with the Smurfs. You remember those little blue creatures who lived in mushrooms (probably hallucinative), and of whom there was exactly one female in the entire village? You wanna talk immorality! One woman and all those men - tsk, tsk, tsk.
And how about the Scooby Doo show? You remember how Fred and Daphne always ended up going off "looking for the monster" together - just the two of them? Looking for the monster - I'll bet! Shameless.
I always was a little suspicious of Bert and Ernie, two grown muppets - both male! living together in a loft apartment the city, playing with their rubber duckies. Sounds a little funny to me.
Not to mention the nefarious Tinky-Winky of Telletubbies fame. Who does he think he is fooling with that purse of his? Little upside down triangle on top of his oh-so-cutsie-tootsie face! Gay, gay, gay! And the Noo-Noo always coming out of his closet. I smell an agenda!
(If you don't know what a Noo-Noo is, just never mind - it doesn't concern you.)
Now we learn about Mr. Spongebob Squarepants, the latest in a long line of cartoon characters whose hidden plan is to destroy your heterosexual marriage and turn all of your kids gay by flaunting immorality across the after school airwaves. This is big, people. We are through the looking glass on this one. What is up, doc!?
Look, here's the thing. Spongebob Squarepants is not a threat to your marriage. Nor to the "institution of marriage," whatever that is. The neo-fundamentalists who want you to think so are such a small minority of the real world, they are hardly worth mentioning. Being gay is not immoral, any more than being straight is. Being gay is being gay. Get used to it. 50 states could ratify constitutional amendments against same-sex marriage and it would not make gay people less gay. No matter what you think Spongebob wants you to think.
Grace and Peace,
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