Thursday, October 04, 2007

Bish Schnay-Z?

Around our congregation, we have a new verb: "Schnase." To "Schnase" someone is to quote or paraphrase from the book, "Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations." So if you say something like, "Of course, people who give with extravagant generosity do so because they want to make a difference, not just support a budget," you can then say, "...and you've just been 'Schnasied'!"

My friend Adam and I are having an ongoing Schnase-off, to see if we can work a "Schnase" into any given conversation. He's pretty good, and I'm playing catch-up most of the time. He is more of a subtle Schnasier, with an uncanny ability to weave the Schnase into the conversation so that you hardly notice he's doing it until ... wham! You've been Schnasied before you know it.

My preferred technique is to give advance notice, as in, "Get ready, I'm about to Schnase you." This brings the added excitement of giving the hearer an opportunity to guess what's coming and maybe preemptively Schnase me before I can get to it. Just adds a little drama to the situation. There's nothing more exciting than the preemptive Schnase.

Here's the latest snippet I've been mulling over: "At some point, followers of Jesus must decide whether they will listen to the wisdom of the world or to the wisdom of God." (p. 114) I'm just waiting for the right moment to Schnase someone with that! It's a good one, isn't it?

I imagine the scenario playing this way. "Pastor, I just don't see how we can put that in the budget next year, with the market acting the way it is." To which I calmly respond, "My friend, you are about to be Schnasied! 'At some point, followers of Jesus must decide whether they will listen to the wisdom of the world or to the wisdom of God.'" Beauty.

And now, I'm bringing the practice of Schnaseing into the Methoblogosphere. Certainly, in order to make it most effective, y'all have to order the book and read it. Only then will you be able to Schnase with the best of 'em. (Not to mention the little extra fringe benefit of a healthier congregation, of course.) Soon the Missouri Conference is going to lauch a "Five Practices" website where we can exchange ideas and thoughts about fruitful congregations, and then the Schnaseing will be all over the place. But I'm not waiting, I'm starting now!

Avoid the rush, start Schnaseing your friends and neighbors today!



Also posted here.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Funny thing, I was riding on public transportation the other day and someone offered me a kleenex when I Schnay-z. I accepted the tissue and found myself Schnay-zing a total of 5 times before I could stop. It was great, I met 5 people that day that I would have never met if I had not Schnay-zed.

jim said...

LOL! Yet poignant....

Vinny said...

ROTFLMAO! You owe me a new keyboard. That coffee smell will never come out.

Stresspenguin said...

I just schnased in my Local Church Quarterly Reports. In a dangerous way.

In response to a question on how the Conference can help me tell the story on apportionments I replied with something along the lines of, "My call is to be conveyor of God’s vision, and through that encourage missional giving and extravagant generosity; I am not called to be a denominational fund raiser."

I've been asking for help every quarter for over a year and have received no response other than notes that we're behind in the Conference appointed payment schedule. So I decided them to Schnase them right in the face.

sparklesax said...

What happens when the Bishop himself Schnay-zs you? A Schnase Schnay-z so to speak.
And do you respond as if he's sneezed with a "God Bless You"?
It would seem like the hospitable thing to do, but would it be taking too much of a risk, being intentional in acknowledging that something tickled your olfactory response system? Or would it just be extending too extravagant a blessing? Maybe the "God Bless You" could be set to music to be used in a worship setting?
Just wondering.
:-)

Erin H said...

Hi Andy. Can I just say this post was too funny. Now I am not going to be able to get that out of my mind when I see the Bishop, schna-Z. Maybe I should go up and brush off his shoulder. I have been working on the new website and hope it turns out well...E

John said...

Great. It's like talking like a Smurf, but in Methospeak.

CARYL said...

What a great way to help people learn about the ideas in the book while having a good time. Andy, you are amazing! Keep it up, son. cb

Helen said...

I think is is so so funny. Our minister preached on all 5---today was number 5-----a Rev. Daniel Hilty.

Martin said...

So are you guys planning on having a small group book study (or do you already have one) on the 5 principles?

Mark said...

We have Schnasied 4 times a weekend for the past five weekends...Is there a United Methodist Church in this country that has not Schnasied??
When will the madness end??

Vinny said...

For our next round of grant applications we receive at the Foundation, we may decide to send some of the applications back and advise the writers that they need to "Schna-Z" things up a bit if they want their grant fully funded.