Not Only Did the Chiefs Win Today ...

...but check out this article:

Raiders Achieve First Down

According to referee John Parry, the first down also caught members of the officiating crew off guard. Parry said that when Bush moved the chains, his instinct was to throw an unsportsmanlike behavior flag for taunting.
"Michael just got up off the ground and handed me the ball without trying to provoke anyone," Parry said. "Usually you'll find the Oakland guys are jumping back on the pile trying to jam a finger into someone's eye or just kicking wildly with their cleats."

Hee hee hee!

Lent - Stop the Madness!!!

The season of Lent begins Wednesday, and can you believe all the hype? Radio stations started playing all the Lent carols weeks ago and I’m so sick of them by now! Entire aisles in the Mega Mart stores have been selling all the Lent decorations at sale prices since the Epiphany! And the kids won’t stop bugging me to go and visit Lenty Claus at the mall, dressed in his purple suit and handing out ash to all the repentant girls and boys.

The commercialization of Lent has got to stop. This is supposed to be a sacred time of preparation and confession, drawing us closer to God as we look forward to Easter and the celebration of resurrection and new birth. And now our schools are cancelling their Lent Breaks, calling them instead some generic term like “Spring Break” or something. I mean, really! We all know that people take that week in order to refocus on the spiritual disciplines, fasting, praying the daily office, and deep study of scripture. Let’s just call it what it is.

It just seems like this time of year is so frantic, all the Lent parties to go to, all the Lent concerts and special events. How are we ever going to get to them all? I’m not even going to have time to go out and buy any new Lent clothes. We also need a new sprig of hyssop to hang in the front hallway. And when are we going to find time to decorate our Lenten Tree? We’re never going to have the house ready for the Holy Week Homes Tour!

Join me in decrying the secularization of Lent! Remember the rationale for the period of time. This year, let’s not give in to the consumeristic pressure we always feel, but rather remember the Lents of days gone by, when times were simpler. Consider home-made Lent cards instead of store-bought gifts. Do you really need to make that fourth dozen of tenebrae cookies, or will three dozen suffice? Remember, Lent isn’t Lent till it happens in your heart.

Rarity - An Exciting Superbowl!

Most amazing catch - ever!

I was rooting for the Cardinals, and they did not disappoint. What a comeback! But what a Steelers drive, and what a catch!

What a game!

And by the way, the best commercial = the e-trade babies, without a doubt.

Sign me up!

Maybe this summer I'll be looking like this guy.
Question of the day: If you were creating a workout just for pastors, how would it be different from a regular old non-pastory workout?

Or Maybe We Didn't ...

Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President


Hat tip

Wikicommentary

Maverick for President

Apparently now one of the criteria for president is being a maverick. But that is just begging the question, which maverick?


So please cast your vote to the right - and in the comment section below include the rationale behind it. Which maverick would make a better president?

a) Brett Maverick
b) Lt. Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell
c) A Ford Maverick
d) Dirk Nowitzki

Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth

(From my friend Martin):

- Begin every sermon with the phrase, "You know what's wrong with you people..."

- Place a roller coaster "You Must Be This Tall" sign at the entrance of the sanctuary.

- Keep the Christmas Pageant livestock in the choir room year 'round.

- If you have an auditorium that slopes down to the platform, give every kid under 12 a handful of marbles before the service every week.

- Put a blank for "weight" on the membership invitation forms.

- Demand mandatory drug testing for all senior adult excursions.

- Have the organist play baseball cheers at pivotal moments of the sermon.

- Before taking up the offering, have the worship leader scream, "Show me the money!"

- Charge restroom tolls.

- Illustrate every sermon with a scene from "Walker, Texas Ranger."

- Use the "American Idol" format for new member classes.

Monday Quiz:

Guess which one is the retired United Methodist Bishop, and which one is the old goat?


(Sorry, sorry, sorry. But it was just too easy to pass up! It's a joke, people. I love you, Daddy Monk. You are my grandfather and I have nothing but respect for you. I sure hope you are chuckling right about now :) )

123 Book Tag

I saw this on Will Deuel's blog.

Here are the rules:

1 - Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (Just grab one, no cheating!)
2 - Find Page 123.
3 - Find the first 5 sentences.
4 - Post the next 3 sentences.
5 - Tag 5 people, who will post theirs in the comment section.

Here is mine:

“One might suggest that the Star Wars movies are designed for children, and that portraying the notion that war is hell would be too gruesome and emotionally distrubing for a young age group. But this defense fails for the simple reason that, unless it is shown to be morally questionable (and that, presumably, is something most children could relate to on some level), violence is rendered part of the everyday, ‘natural’ fabric of existence - at the very least, not a bad thing, and, at most, the (only) path to redemption.”

(I’m only including two sentences because there are so many dependent clauses involved! So complicated!)

And so I am TAGGING:
1 - Brad
2 - Adam
3 - Justin (welcome to the blogosphere, JZ)
4 - Erika
5 - Anyone else who wants to!

Just Another Morning at Home

This morning, Wes says to me, "Dad, why isn't ten pronounced like 'onety'?"

This is a typical question from Wes.

In response, Cori said, "Because then twenty would be pronounced like 'twoty'?" (Say it out loud for full effect.)

This is a typical answer from Cori.

Then they both burst out laughing, and periodically repeated the word "twoty" throughout the morning, which of course sent them into another round of near hysterical laughter.

This is a typical conversation around our house.

M-I-Z ... Z-O-U

Here's a picture taken at last Saturday's Missouri / Kansas game.

Joke du Jour

For everyone to enjoy, but especially my brother Brad, (and probably especially NOT for my friend Kyle):

When Jerry Garcia died, he woke up and found himself on a stage on which a number of instruments were set up.

A door offstage opened and in walked Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, John Lennon, Otis Redding and Buddy Holly. Each musician picked up his favorite instrument and began tuning up. Jerry walked up to Jimi and said, "Man, so this is what heaven is like."

Jimi looked at him and said, "Heaven? You think this is heaven?"

At that moment, Karen Carpenter walked in, took her seat behind the drums, and called out, "Okay guys, 'Close to You.' One, two, three, four!"

My Own Personal Six Degrees of Separation from Kevin Bacon

ANDY BRYAN > Jenna Fischer - "The Magic Flute" at Northeast Missouri State University. She worked in the costume shop; I played the part of Papageno.

Jenna Fischer > Will Ferrell - "Blades of Glory"

Will Ferrell > John C. Riley - "Talladega Nights"

John C. Riley > Renee Zellweger - "Chicago"

Renee Zellweger > Tom Cruise - "Jerry McGuire"

Tom Cruise > KEVIN BACON - "A Few Good Men"

This is how my brother Brad and I worked it out after dinner tonight.

Of course, I promptly visited the Oracle of Bacon and found a shorter path.

ANDY BRYAN > Jenna Fischer - "The Magic Flute"

Jenna Fischer > Matt Dillon - "Employee of the Month"

Matt Dillon > KEVIN BACON - "Loverboy"

And so, according to the Oracle of Bacon, I would have a Bacon number of 3. Sweet.

So that's pretty much how I spent my evening. Pretty impressive, huh?

Done.

Just after midnight Tuesday morning it was finished. That's when I got done with the last Harry Potter book.

No spoilers here, just my grades.
The book - B+
The ending - D
The series - A-

Anyone else want to offer their grades?

Harry is Here

It has arrived.

Amazon.com sent it in a little box that has a picture of an owl delivering a letter, the title "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" in the now-so-familiar font, "Year 7" on one side, and four red bars that contain the admonition: "ATTENTION MUGGLES - DO NOT DELIVER OR OPEN BEFORE JULY 21!"

Oo, this is so exciting I can hardly stand it!

All-Star Logic

Here's an observation:

The American League Central Division has 13 All-Stars. The National League Central Division has 11 All-Stars, despite having one more team than the AL Central. (In fact, the AL Central has more All-Stars than any division in baseball.)

The obvious conclusion to this data set is that the Kansas City Royals are a much better baseball team than the St. Louis Cardinals.

Here's my logic. Both teams got one All-Star, Gil Meche for KC and Albert Pujols for St. Louis. But of the teams that each Missouri club has to play, KC's divisional opponents have 5, 3, 3, and 1 All-Star, whereas St. Louis's division rivals have 4, 2, 2, 1, and 1 All-Star. Clearly the AL Central is the superior division, and since a big chunk of the season is played in the division, it is understandable that the Royals have the record they do, though the Cardinals ought to be cleaning up in the relatively wimpy NL Central. The Royals have to play against 12 All-Stars on 4 teams, whereas the Cards only play against 10 All-Stars scattered over 5 different teams!

The data are irrefutable. The Royals are obviously the better team.

Just Curious ...

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Vatican Issues New Commandments

You may have heard that the Vatican recently issued ten commandments for driving.

But a source got its hands on a Vatican memo that reveals some other suggestions. One of my favorites:

Ten Commandments for Baseball Tonight Anchors
—Thou shalt work harder on thy nicknaming skills. Thou shalt not call every Rodriguez in the league "First Initial-Rod."

Click here to read them all!